Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Love is so funny when you get hurt and you're starting to laugh
Standing alone now figuring why everything was going so fast!
And all you wanted was someone and love will take care for rest..like I can do..like I want to..for so long...

Love is a puzzle and all u need is someone just to figure it out
Don't look away babe cause you know I always be willing to try..I'll wait you right here babe cause I know that baby I'm not fooling around
Baby I want you just only you for so long...

Baby, I know what you feel and I'm so inspired..
Honey if you let me with you I'll fix you right.. So right..
We might as well go on together cause baby I can love u better if you're realized

I know that you're sad babe and all you need is love and love was not easy to find..
Don't look far cause you know I always be waiting in front
I'll wait you right babe eventhough I know you'll always leave me behind..
Baby I want you just only you for so long..

Baby, I know what you feel and I'm so inspired..
Honey if you let me with you I'll fix you right.. So right..
We might as well go on together cause baby I can love u better if you're realized

I want to love, hold, give you all care that need, relax baby when you're with me..
Cause I'll be the one who holds you tight..tonight..
Baby, when we're together, this feeling will take you further..and you'll be alright..

Baby, I know what you feel and I'm so inspired..
Honey if you let me with you I'll fix you right.. So right..
We might as well go on together cause baby I can love u better if you're realized

So Right - Music for sale

Thursday, July 14, 2011


This guy came to my life at the least expected moment and totally stole my heart.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

*middle finger*

Don’t come running back to me when you get treated the exact same way you treated me. Thats karma. Don't ever get me wrong, you did it to yourself. So, Please. Get off from my life. You just ruined everything. Seriously. Stay away from my life,
Mr Annoying.

Saturday, June 4, 2011



Saturday, May 14, 2011


Sometimes there’s nothing to say. Sometimes silence expresses more than words. Sometimes, you just can’t tell anybody how you really feel. Not because you don’t know why, not because you don’t know your purpose, not because you can’t trust them but because you can’t find the right words to make them understand.

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. you have to know that you’re a good person & a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good & what isn’t, wont. Relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you cant be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you must just move on & realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around & don’t lose something real. Whoever said, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” is wrong, because you know exactly what you have when you have it. You just don’t know how much you need it until you can’t have it anymore. Always fight until you cant anymore, & then be fought for.

I keep wondering where did I go wrong. Maybe I didn’t go wrong at all. Maybe things are going to turn out the way they’re meant to and nothing’s going to stop them. Some things are easy to control and work out. But some things you just have to let go. So instead of asking why it turned out like this, I should accept that it is how it is.

There is no way to change it, but I can love it.
I want to love it



Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Thankyou all for birthday wishes, mentions, walls, and voicenotes :D Special thanks for Handriyani Cahyaningtyas, Rinintha Mazaya & Audry Marlita for made me cupcakes, ramen, and panacotta! Thankyou too for best buddy,Awidiya Tirta who sang a song for me, cool! And for my big family!:D Terimakasih juga buat yang udah nyeburin ke kolam ikan......... :') Oiya, Terimakasih juga buat Michelle Tumbelaka & Egi Puti Lenggogeni, bagushh gambarnya :D Thankyou everrryone, I love you guys ♥

And last but not least, terimakasih ya Allah. Alhamdulillah :)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

8 MAY. 23.58 WIB

Hmmm.. i guess nothing special tommorow.......

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Heee :_)

People change, feelings change. It doesn't mean that love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means sometimes when people grow, they grow apart. Never expect. Never assume. Never ask. And never demand. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will happen. I'm happy with my life now, i don't need someone who doesn't want to be here.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Dear all of my bestfriend..

You were there for me for so long making me laugh while I was in tears. I will never let anyone take your place, cause you’re the best friend I’ve got. You laugh at my stupid jokes, put up with my worst moods, go along with my crazy ideas and you still manage to see the best in me. I'm blessed to have you.

You're everything to me =)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Someday, i'll find it.

" In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person who still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with "


Hi, i feel so empty, though i have people surrounding me. I feel as if something is missing, someone is missing out but what or who.
I have no idea.
But more and more each day, i'm beginning to feel lyk i need someone, not necessarily in the context, just someone to be there to hold my heart and take away the loneliness.
Dont get me wrong, i have someone, in fact a few people.
I'm blessed to have them.
They are there but i mean there, there.. really there.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Fill in the blank.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________i miss you haha nevermind.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Not my day.

There's not much going on today, i'm really bored. Nothing to do.. I don't have a spirit to study at all. My blackberry's conection is nyebelin abis woi. Pending terus dari tadi malem sampe skrg, jam 6 sore. What the hell. What happened with my sunday..hh.

Btw, Tommorow will be the first day of UTS. Yap rada telat kali ya baru uts sekarang. But i'll try my best. Wishmeluck, Bismillah!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

That's true qal :")

Qalista Septinela ♥

Hai qalista, udah 9 hari lo pergi kesana. Pasti seneng ya qal disana, udah ga ngerasain sakitnya kemo lagi udah boleh makan apa aja ya sayang, udah bebas gausah di rumah sakit lagi, udah ga ada suster yang recet buat milihin kamu makanan ya? I'm happy as long as you happy ya sayang =)

Yang disini lagi kangen banget nih qal, lo ngangenin banget sih qal. inget gaksih qal dulu kita kemana-mana bareng pas smp sampe satu bimbel di inten satu kelas mana suka cabut terus sok sok buat kelas sendiri padahal ga ada gurunya terus lo bilang itu yang ngajar bu-sukma padahal ga ada yang namanya bu sukma mbak intennya sampe heran sendiri... hahaha qal. Dulu juga kita suka banget pulang sekolah ke rumah tari, nder atau audry naik bajaj rame rame sampe ber delapan sampe ada yang di depan sama supirnya. mana nama bajajnya bajaj "manda" hahaha.

Lo dulu suka banget bikin video-video ga jelas, bager banget sih qal!!! dari video balonku yang di remix terus sampe video joget joget dangdut juga ada lengkap banget deh qal. mana lo mirip banget sama fitri tropika, setiap ada dia di tv aku selalu inget kamu qal. gabisa dilupain banget deh cara ngomong dan gayanya.

Terus yang paling gue inget ya qal lo sering banget sama disa nyontohin foto foto orang pacaran ahaha sok sok kissing lah, pegang bunga, tatapan idung ditarik kaya nadia dan *bip*, terus inget banget qal yang kita sempet bermasalah gara2 kita iseng main jackass hehe. Lo juga selalu ada qal buat yang lain kalo pada punya masalah pasti crtnya ke kamu.

Tapi dibalik semua keceriaan lo, ternyata lo punya beban yang sangat berat ya qal. Lo nyimpen penyakit yang sangat berat, leukimia. berawal dari lebam yang awalnya gue kira lo bercanda qal maaf bgt qal tapi ternyata itu serius dan akhirnya lo masuk ke rs. pondok indah. Gak lama disitu lo dirujuk ke rumah sakit kanker dharmais. it's getting serious everyday... dan akhirnya dokter mendiagnosa kalo lo mengidap Leukemia.

Sedih banget qal kita semua tau itu, tapi kita semua yakin qal kalo lo pasti bakal sembuh dan bisa ceria lagi kaya dulu. Di rumah sakit aja lo masih masihnya sempet ngomong kalo lo mau dengerin semua cerita gue qal walaupun yang ga penting, padahal beban yang lo tanggung jauh lebih berat daripada gue. lo selalu semangat terus buat sembuh, jalanin beberapa tahap penyembuhan yang berat dari kemo masuk isolasi sampe akhirnya lo harus ngerelain rambut lo.. :( Qalista was the strongest person i’d ever know. Sekuat itu qal lo ngejalanin semuanya dan lo masih bisa buat senyum dam masih bisa ngehibur ngehibur orang orang dengan kondisi lo yang kaya gitu :)

Tapi ternyata Allah berkehendak lain.. Rabu 23 Maret 2011, Allah ngambil lo qal buat ada di tempat yang lebih baik :( Sumpah nyesek banget qal pas gue tau itu gue lagi otw dharmais qal, tapi belom sampe dharmais... gue udah dapet berita itu. Ya Allah qal.. this is too soon. Yang gue seselin sampe sekarang kenapa gue gabisa ontime saat itu qal, kenapa gue ga ada di saat saat terakhir lo. Maaf banget qal :""""(

Tapi mungkin ini yang terbaik ya sayang buat kamu, biar ga ngerasain sakit sakit lagi ya qal. gue yakin qal lo pasti seneng disana yaa, banyak banget qal yang doain kamu disini banyak banget yang sayang sama kamu qal. Maaf ya qal kalo gue masih suka nangis kalo inget tentang lo tapi gue akan berusaha bisa sekuat lo ya qal. Kita juga udah janji kok qal setiap ada yang ulangtahun ada acara atau ada waktu luang nanti kita pasti nyekar ya sayang biar kamu ga kesepian. Nanti kita kasih banyak bunga yaaa qal. Kita juga bakal sering sering ke rumah lo qal buat nemenin tante dewi yah qal :) kamu yang tenang disana ya.

Selamat jalan qalista, you deserve a better place :').

We'll meet up soon kay? wait for me ya qal!
I love you so much sayang, u'll be forever in my heart =)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Here it goes..

You just waltzed back in my life like you deserve to be here or something. you could have come back anytime, anytime before now. But you waited and waited. And you know what? It's too late. I kept waiting for you to come back, and you didn't. You never come back, until now. Anytime before now i would have welcomed you back with open arms But you're too late this time. I gave you more than enough chances to make things right and you didn't.

I opened myself up to get cut wide open. I finally moved on. I'm happy. That's something i never though i'd say. I'm sorry if i'm not ready to throw all of that away to let u back in and make me look like a fool when u fuck me over. Again. I can't put myself thought that again. You can't erase the past. The way we are now, it's not my fault. I didn't cheat, lie, or push u away. You did this to yourself. I'm sorry if you can't find anyone who amounts to me, which you probably won't, but it's ur own doing.

I'm not saying this out of spite or pity or anger even. I'm saying this because i know that no girl will ever amount to what i was for you, what you were for me. No girl will ever connect and feel for you the way i did. Maybe the same will go for me. There's never going to be another guy that is just like you, who loved me like u did.

But i'm ready to move on, to experience what else is out there. I can't put myself through what you did to me again. I need change. If we're meant to be, we'll find each other again one day and maybe i'm fall madly in love with you again. If not, i really hope u find find happiness in the decision u made. Because god knows i would never have chosen this for us. But also i can't fix what u create.

PS : I'm so glad we can be bestfriend again :)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

.............I don't know how to explain it

"I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better

I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to do
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you"

- Colbie Caillat - Fallin’ For You

Monday, February 21, 2011


Friday, February 4, 2011

when words fail music speaks

I know that you still haven't found you
And when I wanna stand on my own too
Suddenly you start to show signs of what is possible

Then you're back to your ways and I let me down
Tell me why I keep tryna stay around

When all my family, they always tellin' me be through with you
And I know that deep down I'm calling time on you, on you

Every time I'm ready to leave
I seem to be pullin' in the wrong direction,
Divin' in with no protection
And you can't keep steering me wrong, oh gravity

Pulling me back, pulling me in
Why you pulling me back, pulling me in?
Just like gravity, gravity, gravity, gravity, gravity, gravity

Be quiet, let me leave, let me go, don't say another word
'Cause with every sound you're pullin' me down
Baby, you got a hold on me like gravity

-Gravity, Pixie Lott

You freakin me out. unpredictable.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

S29 ♥

Rumah deya

Dharmais, Get well soon Qalista! :D

Lunch @ Nanny`s Pavillion

Best girls! No one can replace them ♥

When we first talked to each other
I knew we would always be friends.
Our friendship has kept on growing
And I'll be here for you to the end.

You listen when I have a problem
And help dry the tears from my face.
You take away my sorrow
And put happiness in its place.

We can't forget the fun we've had
Laughing 'til our faces turn blue.
Talking of things only we find funny
People think we're insane-If they only knew!

I guess this is my way of saying thanks
For catching me when I fall.
Thanks once again for being such a good friend
And being here with me through it all.

With ♥, 22.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I`m a war of head vs heart

i feel like a thousand exclamations in my heart.
and one big question mark.
constantly..... on my mind.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


I've decided that i would hide these feeling. I don`t want to lose a bestfriend like you. You`re always there for me. You know me so well. COMPLICAYTEDDD >.< Gue gamau kehilangan sahabat lagi kaya dulu. Cukup sekali. I love you, but in a different waaay. And i hope someday that you know how i felt about you. Yea, someday..

Wednesday, January 12, 2011



AAA SENAAAAANG. ok stop. biasa bil biasa. biasa aja jangan berlebihan. plis tp ini super hepi 2011. stay calm stay cool let it flow let it flow. You’re way too cute to ignore.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


So many thoughts on my mind. I just too worry about everything. E-ve-ry-thing. I still thinking of you, you, and you. I think i like u but i wont set my hopes too high. I was too afraid to getting hurt. But i like you... what should i do. HHHH let it flow bil let it flow and pray, only god knows what the best for me.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Words Left Unsaid

I need to know what's on your mind
These coffee cups are getting cold
Mind the people passing by
They don't know I'll be leaving soon

I'll fly away tomorrow
To far away
I'll admit a cliché
Things won't be the same without you

I'll be looking at my window seeing Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember
I'll be hearing my own foot steps under Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember me

I'll let you know what's on my mind
I wish they've made you portable
Then I'll carry you around and round
I bet you'll look good on me

I'll fly away tomorrow
It's been fun
I'll repeat the cliché
Things won't be the same without you

I'll be looking at my window seeing Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember
I'll be hearing my own foot steps under Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember me

I've been meaning to call you soon
But we're in different times
You might not be home now
Would you take a message
I'll try to stay awake
And fight your presence in my head

I'll be looking at my window seeing Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember
I'll be hearing my own foot steps under Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember me

Hi, sitting here with the glass of milkshake while listening of adhitya sofyan`s song called adelaide sky. I just wanna say.. Since i`ve met you last night, i just can`t stop thinking of you. Why oh why you always comes up on my mind. What happened to me? Am i fallin for u? or just a momentary feeling? HHH.

I wish i could explain to you how i felt.
Deep inside i hope you feelin` too...
Hmm.. nevermind

Saturday, January 8, 2011


weird? huh?

Today was weird. A good weird and a bad weird at the same time. i feel so weird.. like, i don't know if i should be upset, or happy? and, when i think about my day, it feels like a dream.. like it wasn't real. has anyone ever felt like this? this is SO weird and creepy, HHH.


Face it, 2011 isn't going to change shit. You are not going to wake up January 1st next year with all your problems gone. Everyday is the start of a new year. So why don't you make your 'fresh start' today?

I like being on my own, cause relationships are messy and people's feelings hurt.

-(500) Days of Summer (2009)

Goodbye & Thanks.

Halo fishy! udah lama banget kali ya gue ga posting di blog ini lagi. Tadi aja gue sampe lupa email & passwordnya. Butuh waktu 1 jam untuk bisa sign in. Dan akhirnya bisa, yeay. Banyak bgt yang harus diceritain disini. GAAAH >.<

Gue single sekarang!:D Letting go isn't about giving up. It's about accepting the fact that there are things that just can't be. yes i can`t be with him anymore. Mungkin ini yang terbaik untuk gue saat ini. 15 bulan yang sangat bisa dijadikan pelajaran buat gue ke depannya. Thanks to you:D

I can't change what's past. But i can always do better today and have a brighter tomorrow. Yap! sekarang waktunya buat gue gimana ngejalanin kehidupan gue ke depannya dengan beryukur dengan apa yang gue udah dapetin tanpa galau galau lagi :p gue ngerasain abis pts gue merasa lebih gimana ya kaya bener bener ga ada beban bisa dibilang haha. You`re totally erased on my mind hehe. No more him, let`s find another!*loh*

Gue juga beryukur punya temen temen yang bener selalu ada buat gue. Pertama gue kira gue bakal ngerasa sepi apa gimana eh tapi ternyata enggak ada aja yang ngajak ngobrol hehehe. Sangat menikmati masa masa jomblo skrg :p Feeling so well and grateful ryt naw. Alhamdulillah :)